I’m almost hesitant to keep updating the “at home” portion of my blog, even as young as it is. I already had one ‘”anonymous commenter” whom I wouldn’t approve. If/when this page begins to get more outside traffic, I refuse to play host to Mom Wars. And when you write about parenting, from any perspective, it’s almost a given. If you are currently a mom of small children, or a frequenter of The Google, you are probably well aware of mom wars. You need barely to announce a pregnancy before opinions and suggestions just start rolling in, quickly followed by a countering suggestion, another opinion. Before you know it, someone is ALL CAPS shouting about how someone else is a terrible parent because “DID THEY EVEN READ THE LABEL OF THAT CHEESE STICK!?” But first you probably have to decipher the 85 abreviated words about how “LO never wanted to CS with DH. They tried FF at SILs but ended up just letting LO CIO.” – I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
I am open and honest about the difficulties involved in this job. I will not pretend to have it figured out. I will not pretend that I am not eating peanut butter out of the jar for “dinner” right now because it’s been that kind of exhausting day. I will happily share any of my abundant examples of how quickly and crazily things get out of hand in my house.
like this episode.
I hope to promote a sense of humor about otherwise stressful situations because we’ve all been there. We have all just wanted to get out of the store as quickly as possible. We have all felt as tantrumy as the boneless 2 year old you’re carrying through the Target parking lot, screaming because she dropped the Starbucks receipt somewhere inside the store. We have all wondered, at one time or another, if we are handling something the right way. I want my mom friends to know that we all experience chaos, confusion, and frustration, as well as peace, love, and joy (sometimes simultaneously).
case in point- that time my son dumped hot chocolate powder all over the ottoman, licked most of it off, then ran outside on a pantsless sugar rush.
My way is not yours, your way is not mine. But I value the army of diverse mothers that we are; That we each nurture wonderfully unique children who will get to experience the beauty of those differences when they interact with each other.
It doesn’t matter to me if your baby was delivered via c-section, with or without meds, or at home . I care that you’re both feeling well. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re co-sleeping or crib sleeping. I care that you’re getting enough sleep. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re breast or bottle feeding. I care that your baby is loved and nourished. It doesn’t matter to me whether you work in the home or out. I care that you feel the value of your unique position in the lives of your family members.
I always cringe when a new mom posts a light weight question on the Internet and is bombarded with 200 forceful answers. As if she needs more to overwhelm her with a collicky 8 day old. I know we are all looking to have our choices affirmed by the decisions and actions of others. But, as moms, we MUST know the value of mutual grace and support! The truth is, New Mom, you will have doubts. You will not know what to expect until you have experienced it. And still your children will continue to shock and amaze you. You know your child better than anyone. No one else’s experience is your experience and your intuition is one of your most powerful tools. But on the day that you just can’t take another second of it and you feel like you need to scream into the couch, my door is open. Drop your kids off or stay for cup of coffee. Just know that when you enter, you’re likely to find a scene like this.
Make yourself at home.